Usually, I'm not learning anything high-falutin'. It's the simple things that make life extraordinary...an aura of thanksgiving, the indescribable warmth of a faithful husbands'embrace, the rhythmic breath-sounds of a longed-for baby. God is good. Jesus is real. And my life is evidence of that--even on the tough days. As a follower of Jesus Christ, a wife and mother, and the wife of a pastor, I am honoured to share what God is doing in my life, to His glory.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Death by Manicure

Five little words.  That's all it took to change the entire perspective of my young world.  Until that one sentence was spoken to my heart, my childhood was intact.  Carefree.  Simple.  Then the most influential male in my life took my hand, looked at my nibbled, ripped nails and pronounced, "Real women have long nails."

My mental innocence was gone.  Now the pursuit of female perfection was my goal.  But that pursuit manifested itself differently than most girls around me.  Instead of driving me towards the makeup aisle and bikinis and hunky boys who would make me feel beautiful, I steered into the world of comparison and self-loathing.

I have only had long nails twice in my life.  On my honeymoon, where my virgin self had way too much to do to bother ripping my nails to the cuticles.  And a few weeks following the birth of my first son.  Again, far too preoccupied to look at my hands.  But I notice other ladies' hands.  And I notice bodies.  I've never been a 36-26-36.  Never will.  But I can name all the people around me who are.  And after nearly 18 years of marriage to that same man, I still find my heart and mind has a teeny corner that holds doubt...how can he possibly find me attractive?

I'm 40 now.  Well aware that the small comment was straight from the pit of Hell.  And I fell for it.  It took me into realms I had to verbally and physically exorcise out of my life.  Sweet Jesus brought me out of those dark vices.  But there's residual guck.  I still compare.  I still covet.  It's a daily struggle.  And I mean, seriously, daily.

One of the biggest blessings in my life?  I have a husband that is...what's the word here...phenomenal.  He's committed and  faithful even as he admits he notices Hollywood's version of beauty in the women around him.  But he's up front about it and is proactive in protecting himself from online and in-person temptation.  And that makes me feel beautiful.  He goes so far as to delete Facebook posts that share pics of scantily-clad women.  I adore him.  And we continue to celebrate that neither of us have to compare ourselves to others in the realm of sex--a blessing that we ache for the young people around us to experience.

So the battles continue.  But, thankfully, I know how the War ends.

Guys, what truths or lies are you speaking into the lives of the young girls around you?  Do you stand actively, redeemingly, against over-the-top use of "beauty" products and sexualized clothing?  Do you speak up for the intensely confidence-building truth that these girls were created in God's own image?  That their value is intrinsic, and not by any means in how they walk or dress or look?

And ladies, have you, like me, bought into the lie that you're somehow better or more valuable because of how you look?  Not that there's anything wrong with taking care of ourselves.  Lord knows I need more exercise.  But if you're wondering...hoping... folks will notice you  because of what you're wearing or how dark your tan is or...or...or, you might need to consider what premises you're building on.

Little woman, you're beautiful.  Not because you use the products promoted on TV, or because your bra is a certain size and from a certain shop.  But because God created you.  He loves you.  And that's enough.







4 comments:

elliott5inbc said...

So good Marilyn. And so true.

Marilyn Carlaw said...

QuasieandPam wrote: "That was an amazing read Marilyn. Something to think about and find ways to makes changes in our lives. It was very empowering for me. I look forward to reading more posts. Thank you for putting yourself out there to blog about such a difficult subject. Hugs! "

Marilyn Carlaw said...

Bill Scarrott said: "Wow. That is a potent message!"

Marilyn Carlaw said...

Lisa wrote: "This is great Marilyn. I love your blog."