The whole interaction occurred because I didn't know her well, in this particular area. So we chatted and she had the courage to tell me that what I did wasn't pleasing to her. I learned something about her and her family that I didn't know before.
So, I won't let it happen again...I'll be careful to respect and guard her from this kind of thing in the future.
But more than the simple truth I learned about how her family feels about being caught in this situation, is the wonderful truth that she cares enough about our relationship that she brought it up.
She was courageous, gentle, loving and forgiving. "This is what happened, this is who we are, and thank you for not doing it again." I wish you could have heard her voice...her heart.
It can be hard to tell someone we care about that they've hurt us. Harder still to do it in a way that invites resolution. "Okay, that's done." And if I may have a little leeway to say so, I exhibited humility (How's that for a humble statement, haha). It can be hard to hear that we've hurt someone we care about too. So to not get my dander up...to accept responsibility for my carelessness and say, "I'm sorry"...we could all stand to learn how to graciously receive constructive criticism.
That's what true friendship is about. Learning, growing, lovingly confronting, receiving and giving. I am blessed to call her friend. And her honesty enabled our relationship to go a little deeper.
That's kinda what it takes to be a friend of God too, eh? He tells me I've hurt Him, and I humbly agree and thank Him for not holding it against me. And the only reason He won't hold it against me is cuz Jesus took the blame for me--and His Spirit gives me the power to respond in humility.
I'm blessed to be surrounded by such friends.
So...questions: It's interesting that I've struggled with being on the "hurt" end in a different situation. Are there times when it's best to just let hurt go? Is that taking the easy way out? Or do I always need to go and extend my hand, regardless of how they take it? Is it the intent of my heart (wanting reconciliation or growth in our friendship) that counts? Whaddaya think?
1 comment:
It's harder than I think to just "let the hurt go." I've tried this in marriage, but I always end up minimizing my feelings and letting little nuggets of resentment get trapped in the netherregions of my heart.
I think the key is something you've already mentioned- humility. I need a healthy dose of it in order to even admit my feelings were hurt!
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