RANT!

Being nice sucks.

Yeah, I said it. And it's 11:50pm and I can't sleep cuz I'm writing this stuff in my head and I've gotta get it out.

Being nice sucks. And I'm a Christ-follower. So what's a girl to do?

Sometimes I just wanna let loose and tell 'em what I really think. Call 'em on the mat and tell 'em they're stupid. They're blowing it. They've got everything they could hope for but they're headed toward the precipice at full speed and they just don't care. I hate it that they just don't care. And I wanna call 'em out for taking advantage of people and say that their excuses are bullshit.

There, I said it. Bullshit!

But how do I say that...nicely? How do I say that and still maintain that I love Jesus? Do I blow it all out of my heart by throwing snowballs at trees? Do I put on a sweet-girl smile and gently reveal bits of the truth, kindly, so that I don't offend?

What am I allowed to do Lord? You called the Pharisees dogs? Didn't You? But You didn't sin. And surely You were trying to win them to Yourself? Or is this where tough-love comes in? Where sometimes people don't hear us nice Christians because we don't get in their faces and hold up a mirror. What were "swear words" back in Your day? How did You shock people off the cliff-edge?

I know You loved 'em off. Maybe it hurts tonight cuz I know that some folks just don't care. And maybe never will. But what's my role? Where does love keep her mouth shut and when does she let loose and tell 'em they're full of...

Can calling it for what it is glorify You? Sigh.

Maybe now I can sleep. Anyone out there? Somewhere in the dark? Barely morning.

Appreciation

My hubby's only out of town for one night. 36 hours at most. But even a chick flick on channel 561 wouldn't suffice to drive the lonely evening hours away. I shoulda just gone to bed.

When I finally did hit the sack, babe decided it would be a good night to gobble up everything in me, every few hours. Leading up to a growth spurt I 'spect. My cry in the wee morning hours was please, please Lord, can he sleep for at least the next three hours. I just need three hours. Pleeeeese Lord.

Then I wondered why I was begging--He reminded me that I'm a simple human, and I care enough about my child to drag myself from my cozy sheets before REM sleep could hit. If little ol' me cares that much, how much more willingly does my Heavenly Father's feet hit the floor when I cry out for something. I don't need to beg. He heard me the first time, cuz He never slumbers nor sleeps.

So I'm a little tired today. But my mind travels to the many moms out there whose hubbys are out of town a lot. Some working out of province, others trading their lady and their child for a life of selfish me-time.

Knowing my Father hears their cry too, I send out a cheer. I don't know how you do it. Long nights. Longer days. Lonely moments.

So I choose appreciation. For You, Lord. For you, my dear husband. And for all you ladies who go it alone. Well, physically alone--cuz I know Someone Who can help, and He doesn't slumber or sleep.